So yeah. I know I haven't really been doing anything creative these last few wee.....months but
I have been checking on my page everyday, and looking at my watcher's stuff. Must say people
are really bloody talented. I mean, I find it so damn hard trying to keep doing something, even if
I like doing it.
For example. I decided I wanted to paint a warhammer 40k army up. I've painted warhammer
since I was kid on and off and never actually got round to finishing much. I don't know why, but I
got back in the mood to do it again. So I bought myself a battle force of tau. I began painting them
and noticed that I was painting them really fecking well. I mean, compared to my older tau modles
I painted a few year ago when they first came out, these looked like golden deamon standard! But
I only managed to paint 4 firewarriors fully, and 8 more bodies and torsos, and thats it! Lost the urge to paint them, even though I really like doing it.
To make things worse I decide to fix this problem by having a break from the tau, so I buy myself Imrik, lord of the dragons, riding a dragon. Tis a warhammer fantasy model. Very pretty. I thought painting this would be a good idea to break from the tau. So I build it, undercoat it (using an airbrush lol) and then begin painting it. I wanted to go for the same 'eavy metal team look. White and blue. It took me an entire weekend to do the fecking upper part of the head!!! Just that, didn't even manage to do the teeth or lower jaw! And now I've lost the damn urge to carry on with it.
I mean, I'm like this with a lot of things. I wanna know why I can't stick to one thing and see it through to the end. I have sooo much free time, yet I choose to just sit here and faf around doing nothing. I play a game I like for like a few days. Then for no reason I stop! Then don't touch it for ages. I spent £300 recently getting my computer to run Battlefeild 2. I needed a new graphics card you see. So I get one, it works...for a while. It just had a weird problem. I thought it could be the power pack being under powered. So I get a new one. It works better, but still problems. Weeks later I get round to buying another graphics card! This one fecking worked thank god but then what have I got to show for it! I play a game that certainly ins't Battlefield 2, and basically leave that to gather dust! Legend of Mir doesn't need a new fecking graphics card mike! Why the hell did you buy all that and then play mir again.
I'm seriously doubting myself here. I mean, I've never had a job and this is probably the reason why. Well maybe not, I don't partically want one and I don't need one, but when I do, I'm gonna be sooo screwed when I lose the will to do that, just like I've done with countless things in my life. Many of which are keeping up with my hobbies and interests. I think it boils down to what it says on my deviantART page, I'm a deviant with many talents. I may be a jack of all trades but hell am I my master at any of them. Imean, you have to bebale to stick with somin for a while before you an do that right?
Man, I didn't actually mean to rant like that. But thank god I noticed I had done. I've got sooo much more crap I could bring up right now. Might be a good idea to get it all off my chest, but I'll leave that to my poor friends in uni hehehehe. It's easier talking to someone, rather than shouting it out across the internet to people who ain't even gonna reply.
So yeah, I'll try be more active in future, though that's gonna turn out to be a lie, well actually it ain't, I did say try, so I guess I've already declared I'm gonna fail at it eventually. Anyways enjoy this for the mean while [link]
Gallery Update - I've decided that my deviations are all inconsistant so I've moved like half of them to the scraps folder and left only the ones I thought were either just good or have something to do with the whole sci-fi mecha thing I have going on, along with my celetrial art too.